Turn
Her On: Buy Her Sexy Lingerie
What's
the best way to make your woman feel sexy and attractive?
No, it's not by buying her a treadmill; you have to show
her that you're still uncontrollably attracted to her in
a positive way. Again, not by trying to probe her with your
penis at every given opportunity. You guessed it, I'm talking
about the roots of romance, namely lingerie.
There is a multitude
of things that you can buy her (studded collars and handcuffs
don't apply), and show her that everything's coming up roses
(or erections as the case may be).
If you're anything
like me, you've probably walked into a lingerie store and
felt like a baby who's been asked to dissect a nuclear warhead
-- oblivious. Well, I got myself some education in women's
naughty wear and I am here to teach you the ABC's, or rather
34C's, of lingerie.
don't
neglect the negligees
Negligees are
basically any item of lingerie that resembles a dress (mini
or floor length). Now assuming that your woman is as hot
as any woman in the Victoria's Secret catalogues (mine certainly
is-n't, but my mistress sure is), your best bet would be
to opt for the shorter variety.
The most flattering
negligee is the Baby Doll design, which basically starts
out tight around the breasts and then opens up (it's usually
see-through; yum) and stops right under her buttocks, yet
another bone-us.
Another wonderful
thing about the Baby Doll design is that many of them are
open down the middle starting under the breasts, which in
turn, gives "easy access" a whole spanking new
meaning.
Another hot seller
is the Chemise that is basically a silky plain mini dress
that drapes her body and ends at her thighs. Oh, I forgot
the best part; most of these negligees come with G-string
or thong underwear. Can I get a Hallelujah?!?
I
wanna be your teddy
Teddies are nice
to look at, to say the least. They resemble one-piece, kinky
bathing suits, and come in a variety of styles: G-string,
see-through, high-cut, and push-up (for breasts, naturally).
The downfall
of these eye-catching outfits is that they can sometimes
feel like the equivalent of a chastity belt -- they're extremely
difficult to take off. Sometimes the clasps close at her
vagina, which may sound like quite an appropriate district
to be starting the party, but can get quite frustrating.
Your best bet
would be to buy one that goes on just like a bathing suit
instead. Wax on, wax off. Life is good.
savory
sexy sets
If
you're anything like me, your "little man" probably
isn't thrilled when your woman removes her outer layer of
clothing only to be donning a beige, worn-out bra and white
underwear -- and grandma's variety at that.
Perhaps she's
just comfortable around you, or maybe she literally has
no idea that a thong might drive you to insane proportions.
Whatever the case, perhaps it's time you bought her some
nice bra and panty sets. She'll appreciate and trust me,
you'll alleviate.
There are all
kinds of sets you can buy. The bra comes in a variety of
styles, but Push-Ups are the yummiest. There's nothing like
watching your woman prance around in a cleavage-enhancing
bra and a tight, low-cut top.
And for the oblivious
men who still don't understand how bra sizes work, the letters
(A,B,C,D and for you lucky dogs, DD) connote the size of
the breast while the numbers (32, 34, 36, 38) describe the
measurements around the back.
Shall
we move a little lower, say, down south???
under where?
Then there's
the underwear: Thong, G-string, Crotchless... ah the scrumptious
list goes on and on. Remember that although we'd like to
ensure that our women basically have a thong plastered to
their body virtually every day, sometimes they're not very
comfortable. So I suggest that you buy her a really nice
bra with a variety of underwear (all the ones mentioned
above).
Make sure that
the underwear you purchase has cotton lining on the crotch
(for hygienic purposes), unless of course, you plan to take
it off the instant she puts it on.
If bras aren't
your thing and you don't seem to have any luck removing
them (I can do it with one hand -- or even my teeth, ha!),
why don't you buy her a Camisole instead? These silky tank
top-like pieces of clothing are easy to put on, nice to
feel up, and even easier to take off.
There are some
camisoles that do have bra-like clasps and although they're
nice, you're better off buying them if you want to see her
do a little dance for you before you slowly ease into your
ramification session.
You can even
pamper her with a Sexy Lace Chemise... who am I kidding,
I meant pamper yourself.
Next to the chemise,
another sexy item that would definitely get your blood flowing
to the soldier down below is a Bustier (pronounced boo-stee-yay).
Yeah, the name might sound complicated, but believe me,
this contraption pushes up the breasts, shrinks the waist,
and provides that overall hourglass look every woman says
she wants.
And of course,
all this talk about lingerie would be useless if I failed
to mention every man's fantastical dream of watching his
woman remove her skirt only to find that her Stockings are
attached to a kinky pair of Garter Belts lurking around
underneath. It would be such a high to snap them with your
fingers only to undo them with your teeth so that you can
spank her adequately.
when
in robe...
Making
sure your woman is comfortable can likely ensure your own
comfort. Draping her sexy body in a silky floor length or
¾ length robe will definitely make her feel like
a horny housewife.
But silk isn't
the only available option; there are also velour, terrycloth,
chenille, and thermal knit robes for your lovely lady. Picture
wrapping it around her naked body only to get your hands
inside and feel your way around. Sounds tasty, doesn't it?
And what should
she be donning under that robe? Well, preferably nothing,
but perhaps she would like to tease you just a little longer
with a seductive T-Shirt and Thong duo.
know
when to hold 'em
Asking
her what she wants kind of defeats the purpose and the element
of surprise. Try to be considerate; don't show up with a
G-string that's two sizes too small and a bra made for Malibu
Barbie -- she won't be a happy camper.
Pay attention
to her body shape, check the size of her clothes and the
styles that she likes. More than the lingerie, women love
attentive men who appreciate the female form enough to know
what would look good on it. Trust me, I know.
Until
next time, watch her put it on, place her in front of the
mirror, stand behind her, and slowly render her naked. And
remember; shield your soldier before going in.
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